it's funny

It's funny that no matter how many times I have raised a two year old, or how many I've been around that they can still stump me.  You never get your PhD in motherhood.  I don't think that you ever "graduate".  I thought that by the time Noah came along I'd have this all down pat.  But boy was I wrong.  The little man stumps me daily.  He leaves me breathless and frustrated to the point of tears.  I'm still clueless as to what to do next with him.  When he is having his fits in the grocery store or in the house, I still find myself scrambling to figure out what to do.  I try this and that...but nothing seems to "work like a charm".  The only thing that I have learned in the past 18 years of being a mommy is that "NOTHING" lasts forever.  The tantrum passes, the sickness heals and their little feet grow.  So while I'm in the middle of my baby's tantrum I can remain a little calmer than I did all those years ago.  But other than that, I still have no answers.  I still crawl under my desk and cry...I still feel at my wits end.  But then a new day comes, a new moment and all is right again.  Thank God that nothing lasts forever.  I wondered today what exactly I'm supposed to be learning from this one.  When I had Luke I just always repeated that God was trying to teach me patience.  And I remember thinking that I wasn't going to make it.  But he's 15 now and he's so bright and beautiful.  He has a heart made of gold...so sensitive, so caring, so giving, so loving.  It was all worth it. 

And I guess that is what I have to hold on to now.  I wonder is God molding him or me?  Either way I wouldn't trade it for the world.  And although it may sound a little strange....It felt so good to cry under the desk!